dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
