i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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