The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I need to calm my uterus...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
