ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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