Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
