I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
