I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
