so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
