Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize