He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
two words: eviction party
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
