Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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