I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
