She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
