I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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