dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
