I am full of burrito and curiosity
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
