This is not my ceiling
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
