Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
