On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There r osticjed everywhere
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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