Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
