All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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