i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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