im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
