Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
