In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
