i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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