I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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