brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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