Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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