ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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