i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
