Ketchup is God's man juice
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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