You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I wish there were birth control emojis
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
