i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
