I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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