This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
