need another drink. this is the easiest way
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
