4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
