Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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