HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
