i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We had to coat check the pizza.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
