like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
