that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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