I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
