I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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