dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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