dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
