if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
