and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
