i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
